陈轶的盛夏厅

These days I get a really bad feeling, for I do not know how to communicate with my parents.

My mum is so ill-tempered that I can not talk with her anymore. There are two reason, one is I do not want to anger her. Another is I do not want her to interfere my life.

I can not talk freely any more when I sit with my parents.

Things are really becoming bad. Before I returned home, I was worrying about the letter I posted in blog several month ago. In that letter, at that time, My mum asked for divorce for some stupid reason, I said I agree their decision, that means divorce. Although that is their quarrel, I can just stand aside and watch my mum to put all their money to a hopeless business which will destroy my parent’s life. I know mum do not listen to me in this thing, if My daddy can not stop her, I don’t think I can. So I have to choose which one to support, I choose my daddy.

What I worried is my mum will anger with me and my daddy will mistake me for my choice.

This make me nervous, I was a bit fear to talk with my parents. The funny and sad thing is, My mum can hold her bad temper, in the 2nd day, she burst into cry again for thirty minutes only because my daddy said something wrong. I feel some sort of relief, for now my mum’s target is not me but my daddy, and my daddy should not mistake me any more.

In the days following, my mum always disappears in the daylight, she is busy with her new business: make window curtains. And obviously she do not want to talk too much with me. And same with me, when she is sitting with me, I always try to keep silence.

And I hear some bad news. My parents have invested that business they quarreled for, and lose all the money. Things are not too bad. Because they do not invest all the money but half their money is still a big lose.

I said nothing for that, pretend that I do not know. But obviously nothing can hide such a big mistake from people, especially my hometown is a small town. so everybody know I know, my mum, my father, they just do not talk about that.

It is sad.

I do not care their money, I care about their peace, their health, their happiness. But I can not do anything, because my mum will not listen to anybody. If I keep trying, the only result is hurting each other. So maybe it is better to pretend we do not know and do not talk each other.

Of course, my mum is hurting my daddy badly. But from my understanding, they live together more than thirty years, with love, with hard and happy times, and with bitter times, there must have a lot things I do not understand, so I do not know how to do, how to stop this without hurting my parents, especially my daddy.

These days, I am hesitated when I write some blog. I give up some article before I finish them. I do not want to hurt anyone, but make me sick, and make me boring.

Finally I decide write it down in English. A bit easy for me.

This post maybe hurt my mum, yes, but this post is not the cause, it is the result. If you do not hesitate to do some terrible decision and can not control youself, why fear to face some terrible words. That’s my point. And I doubt she will try to read, since she never try to hear anyone’s advice and never care anybody’s feeling.

I will talk freely from next post, for I do not want to hide my real thinking anymore. But for these things in this article, I do not talk it anymore. Silence is gold.

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